


Take a Chance

by UmiHinode



Series: The Story is Eternal [4]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Study, Friendship, Gen, Post-Canon, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-23 23:41:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14343426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UmiHinode/pseuds/UmiHinode
Summary: Much to her surprise, Varona takes Izaya's suggestion into consideration.---Can be read as a stand-alone, though probably best enjoyed with the series as a whole.





	Take a Chance

She had failed.

Somehow saying that aloud, affirming her mistakes not only to herself but to the world, had hurt far more than her initial realization.

She had wanted to test human strength; that was her reason for living. However, she was weak, and so she had to search for something new, more fitting. She wanted to experience joy, but in her eyes, she was not worthy of such a thing.

So was the story of Nastasya Voronin, codename Varona.

Varona had returned to Ikebukuro out of shame, though she supposed she also returned out of desire.

 _"If there's any possibility that I may visit this city again, then I challenge you to a duel. I wish to speak with you head-on, to within an inch of my life,"_ she had said to Heiwajima Shizuo, full of pride.  _"To actually experience the joy of existing in this world... that is my desire."_

So she had said, yet she had failed. She was still nothing more than an ignorant child, corrupted by her foolish desires, by the blood on her hands. She was truly nothing more than a bloodthirsty monster in her own eyes, and she assumed that would never change.

_It was fun._

_It was fun._

_It was fun._

So it had been, but things would never be the same again. She was weak, and she didn't deserve to live.

She didn't deserve to face Heiwajima Shizuo, the epitome of the very strength she wished to test.

Instead, she had aimed her gun at Orihara Izaya. She was too naive to understand why she so desperately wanted to kill him. Perhaps she subconsciously thought she could prove herself, redeem herself in Shizuo's eyes by killing him, after stopping him from doing so himself. She refused to let him become a murderer, and she had long since had her hands bloodied. She had to be the one to do this. Perhaps if she killed Izaya, she would start to feel pleasure in her life once again. Perhaps she could return to living a normal life with Shizuo and Tom, as selfish as she believed that sentiment to be. One final kill to end it all. Her mind was completely blank as she stared her enemy down, emotionless as she moved to pull the trigger.

As soon as Shizuo opened his mouth, she realized just how wrong she was.

_"He's not an enemy."_

She couldn't bring herself to comprehend this; after all, Shizuo hadn't given her a clear answer aside from that.

_"You have always hated each other, have you not?"_

Their smiles told her absolutely nothing.

Varona knew many things, but there was one thing she had yet to bring herself to understand: love. Because of this, Shizuo's actions would continue to stump her; haunt her, even. She had to wonder, what had happened to him in the time she was gone? It almost pained her to think about. There was something different about him, and how she hated it.

How she hated it, for she could not change in the same way.

_"To actually experience the joy of existing in this world... that is my desire."_

It was nothing more than a childish dream for a childish girl.

Nastasya Voronin could never experience the joy of existing, not after all the atrocities she had committed. Joy wasn't a thing that could exist in her world, for hers was one of nothing but the blood on her hands, the rush of adrenaline she experienced with each stab wound, each gunshot, every punch and kick. From the moment she murdered the man who had broken into her house as a child, her fate had been sealed. She couldn't stop.

She began to count, as time went on. This number would be the indicator of her strength, the proof that she had something to live for.

 _One._ Electrocuted in a bathtub.  _Two._ Stab wound to the chest.  _Three._ Shot in the head from behind.

The number could only get higher. When she reached the hideout of the gang opposing her father, she almost couldn't keep track.

 _Seven._  Gunshot. Eight. Gunshot. Nine gunshot _ten_ gunshot _eleven_ gunshot _twelve_ gunshot. _Thirteen._ Stab. _Fourteen_ stab _fifteen_ stab. _Sixteen._ Gunshot. _Seventeen._ Gunshot.

It had reached forty-seven by the time she was done. She was only fifteen years old.

Now, at twenty-two, the body count had more than tripled.

When she was younger, it had been nothing more than a game. That number was her strength. It was the amount of people she had overcome, and it could only grow. She'd continue to grow stronger; that was what she thought. When she ran away to Japan almost three years prior, everything changed, and it had only gone downhill since. She realized for the first time just how dangerous that number was, that it could never represent her strength.

That she was weak.

That she didn't deserve to live.

When she returned to Russia, she thought she could make amends; both with her father and herself. She would finally understand why she had only ever seen her father's back, why he had hugged her that night she had made her first kill, why he had slapped her after killing forty of his enemies. She could grow to find peace with herself, and live a normal life. She could return to Ikebukuro and face Shizuo with pride. She would challenge him to a duel as she promised, but not to the death. She'd test him, she'd test herself.

Her father's back remained the only thing she could see.

She couldn't take it, and so she became a living contradiction. Sloan had called her a fighting addict, and it was true. She was obsessed with the adrenaline rush, the impact, the satisfaction, but it wasn't something she needed any longer. She could fight without killing; she just had to learn how. She could live in Ikebukuro, at peace with herself and her actions. She could live a normal life.

But she couldn't.

_I do not deserve to live._

_What reason is there for my existence?_

_I desired to test human strength, but what is strength?_

_Why can I not find the answer?_

Cold hands wrapped around her neck, digging into skin, clawing away at any and all points that could end her life, just like that. As she began to choke, her grip tightened. She grunted, cried, screamed without making a sound, yet her breathing would not stop.

 _Why?_ She wanted to scream.  _Why could I take the lives of so many others, yet I am incapable of taking my own?_

Her hands fell to her lap as she gasped for air. Her breathing was ragged from the suffocation, not only from her own hands, but from her tears, filled with nothing but pure anger and shame.

_"Since I'm your senpai, it's okay to lean on me a little."_

Ikebukuro appeared in her mind then, as Shizuo's words from what felt like so long ago returned. She remembered how she had acted without thinking, how she rushed to protect  _him_ of all people, how she had vowed to return home and make things right.

_"I challenge you to a duel."_

She would return to Ikebukuro in the following days, and Heiwajima Shizuo would be the one to kill her.

Everything stopped when she arrived at the airport, and again when she reluctantly followed Shizuo and Orihara Izaya to Russia Sushi.

_"We'd be glad to have you back."_

She didn't deserve this, she told herself. She didn't deserve this, but there was a glimmer of hope in her violet eyes.

_"I'm sure Shizuo and Tom could use some help."_

_"I wouldn't want to bother you."_ _Do not accept me once more._

_"We'd be glad to have you back."_

She couldn't face him as he smiled at her as if nothing had happened. As if she hadn't tried to kill both of the men sitting beside her. As if she hadn't kidnapped an innocent child caught up in a mess out of her control. As if she hadn't killed one-hundred and seventy-six people in her twenty-two years of life.

_"I cannot accept this."_

_"Take a chance, Nastasya."_

Izaya's sudden use of her mother tongue had startled her, though she didn't have enough time to wonder why or how he had learned it.

_"How do you know that name?"_

_"I did my research on you. I am an informant, after all."_

There was no malice in his words. In fact, he seemed genuine, something she had yet to observe in any of their prior meetings. His sincerity, mixed with the glimmer of hope in Shizuo's eyes left her with no chance. She truly was selfish.

_"I would most be grateful to work alongside you once more, Shizuo-senpai."_

So she had said, yet she had been avoiding him ever since. He didn't seem to want to avoid her, however.

"Varona?" He had called from the other side of her apartment door after knocking rather lightly. She probably wouldn't have heard him had she not been in the living room, lounged around surrounded by stacks upon stacks of books. With a sigh, she set the book she had been reading down before gingerly maneuvering through the sea of novels in order to reach the door.

"How did you find me?" She asked plainly. "Requesting an answer."

Shizuo adjusted his sunglasses as he spoke. "Izaya tracked you down, sorry. I tried to tell him not to, but I've been worried about you."

With a frown, she asked, "Worried? What reason do you have for concern?"

"Well," Shizuo drawled. "You said you were gonna start working with us again, but..."

Him trailing off created an awkward silence as neither he nor Varona had the words to continue. He tried to meet her gaze, though her unnaturally quick reflexes allowed her to look away before he had even turned his head.

"I do not think that is a good idea," Varona finally said, still averting her eyes.

"Varona..." Shizuo sighed, crestfallen, before hesitantly reaching out to touch her shoulder. She flinched at the touch, though she did not push him away. "It's okay."

The sheer anger that manifested as her face contorted was undeniable. She wasn't trying to hide any more. "Do not patronize me," she snapped, Shizuo withdrawing his hand as she did so. "It is not okay."

"Don't you want to come back?" Shizuo dared to smile as he posed his question, and Varona could only falter. "It was all over your face that day."

"What I desire does not matter."

Shizuo was silent in thought for a moment before asking, "Hey, what did Izaya say to you?"

Varona's eyes widened. "He...told me to take a chance."

Shizuo's pleased smile was completely unfitting, all things considered. "Why don't you?"

She didn't respond.

"Listen, I don't know all the details, but I know something's holding you back," Shizuo continued, crossing his arms. "I think you should listen to Izaya."

With that, he stepped away from the doorway and gave her a half-hearted wave as he prepared to leave. "See you tomorrow?"

She said nothing, and he was gone.

. . .

The next day, she arrived at the agency.

She didn't think she would ever forget the look on Tom's face when he saw her walk in. It was the first time anyone had looked at her like that, like she was something worth longing to see.

"Varona! You're back!" He greeted her grinning from ear to ear.

"You are awfully happy," she observed bluntly.

Tom chuckled. "We kinda missed having you around."

Varona bowed her head as she replied, "I apologize for my absence."

Tom, who clearly hadn't expected this reaction, blushed as a hint of panic crossed his mind. "Don't apologize. I'm sure you had your reasons."

"You and Shizuo-senpai are too kind," she murmured, lifting her head. Tom didn't respond - he most likely didn't know how to - allowing her to survey the lobby. Sure enough, Shizuo was nowhere in sight. "Is Shizuo-senpai not here today?"

"He's running a little late, now that you mention it," Tom commented, peeking at his watch. "He'll be here soon."

Sure enough, he arrived a few minutes later.

"Sorry I'm late," he said without preamble, bowing his head. When he looked up, Varona could tell he had yet to notice her presence until that moment, for his eyes widened once they met hers. "You're here."

Varona bowed once more, and Shizuo and Tom exchanged fond glances.

"Well," Tom said with a grin. "Let's get going."

. . .

To say that not a thing had changed in the time she had been gone would be unfair to Shizuo, but him aside, everything was exactly as it had been before. The city remained as lively as always, flooded by faces both familiar and strange, out of focus and clear as day. The unlucky perpetrators were the same as well, all bark and no bite against two of the most dangerous bodyguards Ikebukuro would ever see. Over the course of two years, Varona had become forgotten by all except the usual suspects, most of the new faces falling to victim to the same mistakes the men she had met on her first day of the job had made. She couldn't begin to comprehend how she appeared to be something worth admiring, but some of these men were persistent.

Until they saw what she was capable of, of course.

Evidently this particular man had encountered Shizuo and Tom before, but this was his first time witnessing Varona at their side. "What's a pretty girl like you doing working for these assholes?" He asked her upon opening his door and glancing between the three individually. He began to reach out to her, only for Varona to grab him by the arm and turn him around, twisting his arm in the process. He cried out as he sunk to the ground, and again as she rammed one boot into his back, forcing him to bend over on his knees.

"Requesting the money you owe," she responded simply. Beneath her, the man squirmed and bowed his head further as she put more pressure down on him.

"I-I don't h-have it!" He whimpered, frantic. "P-please, just l-let me go!"

Varona didn't falter. With her shoe still pressing down into his back, she reached over, searching for his pockets and retrieving a wallet. Inside were two credit cards, two-thousand yen in cash, and an ID, and Varona handed all but the ID over to Tom, who stashed it away in his own pockets for the time being. Varona removed her boot from the unlucky man's back, and after having a moment to regain his composure, he wasted no time attempting to attack.

"You bitch!"

Naturally, it would be in vain. With a knee to a rather unfortunate area, the man was back down on the ground. Without another word, Varona walked off, leaving an enamored Tom and stunned Shizuo behind her.

"Holy shit," Tom breathed. "I shouldn't be impressed, but...she sure is something."

Had he been anyone but Shizuo's boss, Shizuo might have teased him and warned him to not try and flirt with her in his horrifically broken Russian again.

Thankfully that was the last incident of the day, and the trio could carry on with business as usual. On the walk to their next victim's home, however, Varona paused, turning to face Shizuo.

"There is something different about you, Shizuo-senpai," she began, expressionless in spite of everything. "I have been the only one to initiate any attacks today. It is almost as if you do not wish to fight. Please confirm or deny my hypothesis."

"I guess I've just gotten a lot better at controlling my temper," Shizuo replied with a smile.

Varona raised her eyebrows before murmuring to herself, "Interesting."

"Good interesting, or bad interesting?"

"It is neither good nor bad. It is simply interesting," Varona deadpanned before turning around once more, resuming her walk ahead of her companions. Shizuo raised a brow, earning a shrug from Tom before they decided to follow her. All was silent as they reached the city's outskirts, save for a stray car passing by here and there, and the sound of a dog barking in the distance. Without stopping again, Varona decided to continue. "I would like to see you fight again." A pause. "No, I would like to fight you."

Shizuo halted. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"You relayed to me that you have become much better at controlling your temper, therefore better at controlling your power, correct?" Varona inquired, not missing a beat. "I am not seeing a problem."

"I have, but I wouldn't want to hurt you," Shizuo responded, quiet yet firm. "Just in case."

Varona scowled. "What a foolish sentiment," she murmured, finally stopping and meeting his gaze once more. "We have fought before."

"That was different."

"Negative. I am still the same person I was then."

Fearful, Tom glanced between the two and opened his mouth, ready to say something to calm them both down, though Shizuo interjected.

"I'm not going to fight you."

Varona stepped closer to him, glaring up into his solemn eyes, forcing him to make eye contact with the intensity of her own. Brazenly, she proclaimed, "I want you to destroy me."

In the moment that Shizuo held her gaze, she noticed his eyes widen in fear just before he pried them away, staring at anything and everything he could aside from her. Tom reached out and put a hand on each of their shoulders, letting out a soft sigh. "On that note, let's get going. We still have work to do."

That being said, Tom forced himself in between the two, keeping himself in the middle as they continued onward. Varona persisted with her head held high, as if she hadn't just told someone who considered her a friend that she wanted him to kill her. It meant nothing to her, but in that moment, it meant the world to Shizuo. He had to bite his tongue as they carried on, hyper aware of his thoughts and actions. He appeared as if he were to combust, but that wasn't something Varona would see.

They didn't talk again until their shift ended. Night fell upon the city, blanketing it in layers of both darkness and the light of nightlife. People flooded the streets, surrounding the eclectic trio and making it near impossible for two thirds of the party to reignite their earlier argument in peace. Shizuo had to lead Varona aside in order to finally give her his answer.

"I'll do it."

A hint of smile tugged at Varona's lips, but her hope soon shattered as Shizuo continued. "On one condition: I won't destroy you."

"But-" Varona started, and Shizuo wasted no time interrupting her.

"Actually, two conditions. I won't destroy you, and whoever wins has to treat the other to dessert. Tom-san excluded."

Tom let out a sigh of relief.

Varona frowned. "The winner has already been predetermined. It cannot be anyone but you."

"Remember how I told you that I admired you?" Shizuo asked, allowing himself to lean against the side of the building they were beside, at ease despite the situation. "I meant what I said. You have an admirable technique. You're actually trained. Me? I just get lucky." With a weak chuckle he added, "I'm not exactly that smart when it comes to fighting, but you..."

"I am foolish."

Shizuo chuckled in disbelief. "Are you serious?"

No response.

Shizuo absentmindedly played with the stray strands of his hair as he continued. "Let's just try it out. You might surprise yourself."

"Fine," Varona muttered, defeated. "I accept your challenge."

The smile that appeared on his face then was enough to disgust her. She wanted to cry out,  _Why? Why does this please you so much?_ but she could only suffocate in the silence.

"Alright," Shizuo said, filling the void that Varona couldn't fill. "Tomorrow morning, West-Gate park, an hour before work starts."

Varona simply nodded.

Tom groaned, both from general exhaustion and because these two would certainly be the death of him. (Not that it would stop him from tagging along.)

The three finally parted ways for the night, mostly due to Tom insisting on it, and Varona soon found the solace of her apartment once more. Cautiously she traipsed through the sea of books that awaited her in order to get to the kitchen. She had a decent amount of food ready to eat, though she couldn't help but crave strawberry cake, specifically from the bakery that she and Shizuo had once frequented. At that point, she couldn't get him off her mind. She couldn't begin to wrap her head around why he continued to treat her as if nothing had happened. It was what she had longed for, yet it pained her.

The anticipation for their duel kept her awake for most of the night, until she eventually passed out on her couch with a book resting on her stomach. Somehow she managed to wake up in time without the help of an alarm. With a long yawn forcing her eyes shut, she blindly walked from the couch to her dresser, trading her t-shirt and leggings for her rider suit. Perhaps if Shizuo had seen her in that suit, he'd remember the rage that engulfed him as she launched a knife into his chest, or the betrayal he felt as he saw her riding off with the severed head of his close friend.

His expression did not change.

West-Gate Park was deserted, save for the two of them, with Tom sitting on the sidelines, both out of curiosity and just in case.

One hour remained until her demise.

She hoped.

When she got close enough to Shizuo, he asked her, "Ready?"

"What a foolish question," she replied blankly, moving into position.

Smiling, rather weakly, he clarified with her, "You don't have any weapons, do you?"

She shook her head.

"Alright," he said, mostly to himself. The park benches would live to see another day - not that he planned on using them for this fight. As Varona did, he took several steps back, watching, waiting.

"Fifty-seven minutes," Tom called out to them.

Varona was the first to move. It was unsurprising, both because her movements were always swift, and because she wanted this to be over. She'd provoke him, test him, and end it all. And so, her fist met his face first.

 _Aim for the eyes._ She remembered herself thinking back when they had fought in the back of the truck what seemed like decades ago. Once again, Shizuo triumphed. He barely budged from the impact, and without a sound he latched onto her arm with enough force to toss her aside, throwing her off balance, but with enough restraint to not send her far.

"You're holding back," she spat, storming towards him and grabbing him by the bow tie, yanking him down to her level. "Did I not make it clear that I wanted to see your full power?"

Shizuo cleared his throat, longing to respond, but he didn't have the words - or the chance. Varona, rather foolishly, smashed their foreheads together. Once again, Shizuo was as still as a statue as Varona stumbled backward, her hand instantly reaching for her head, as if her touch could dull the pain.

In a move all too different from his signature style, Shizuo mirrored Varona's move from the day before, grasping her by the arm and turning her so her back was to him. Instead of knocking her down, however, he held her in a position reminiscent of a chokehold, refusing to let go. Despite the roughness of it all, gingerly he asked, "Why do you want to lose?"

Varona's response came as a grunt as she attempted to escape, though Shizuo's grip was far too tight, even as he restricted himself.

"Why are you acting like an idiot?" He persisted. "You're one of the smartest people and best fighters I know."

"I am ignorant," she said in a low growl, fighting to speak.

Shizuo ignored her. "Why are you trying to destroy yourself?"

"Because my existence is meaningless!"

Shizuo warily released her, though against his expectations, she did not resume the fight. Instead, he witnessed only the wrath, and the pain, burning in her eyes.

"I existed as a weapon," she began, voice trembling with anger. "All I could do was kill. Then, I learned of something more. I learned of this city, of working alongside you and Tanaka-senpai, of living a life of normalcy."

"Varona-"

"But I cannot live that way," she spat. "I cannot change anything. I can only kill, and if I cannot kill you, then my existence has become negated."

"Why do you need to prove your existence?"

Both Tom speaking up and the words he said sent a shiver down her spine.

"As far as I'm concerned, you don't need a reason to live," he continued with a shrug. "You just do."

Shizuo smiled as he spoke. "You're not weak, Varona. Hell, if you were weak because you wanted to live a normal life, I'd be the weakest person around."

Varona could only frown, until she remembered.

_Take a chance._

"Perhaps you are right," she murmured, crossing her arms.

Tom let out a sigh of relief. "Now that that's over with... who's up for breakfast? We still have some time."

"I request that we go to the bakery," Varona declared.

"Cake for breakfast?" Tom asked in disbelief.

Shizuo shrugged. "Why not?"

"You two are crazy."

Varona supposed she smiled as she followed after the two of them.

. . .

"Fancy seeing you here."

His voice alone was enough to activate her fight or flight response, the one which she would choose clear as day, though she didn't act on her impulses. Instead, she simply turned in the direction of his voice, meeting him with a blank stare. "Orihara. I could say the same for you."

Izaya's expression drew a thin line between a smile and a smirk. Its presence was taunting, but even after only having met him sparingly before, she could tell that something about the curve of his lips was different. She had noticed it the last time, and she supposed that perhaps there was a lingering fear in that smile as well. "Off day today?" He asked, resting his hands in his jacket pocket. "You're the last person I expected to take off days. Well, aside from Shizu-chan, of course."

"What I am doing is none of your concern," she responded flatly.

There was that familiar, devilish grin. "Cold as ever, I see. Forgive me for taking an interest."

Varona raised a brow in question. "And why have you taken an interest in me?"

"Pure curiosity," he responded with a shrug. "You're a strange human being, Nastasya Voronin."

Varona bit her lip at the use of her given name, and it wasn't something Izaya missed.

"What is it about that name that you hate so much?"

"It is none of your concern."

Izaya let out a brief, half-hearted laugh. "Humor me, will you?"

"If you want me to humor you, then I suppose I can," Varona said, managing a smile. "I suppose I have to thank you for something, as much as I would rather not."

"Interesting."

"Interesting indeed," she echoed without a hint of the pride that he had expressed himself. "Do not take this the wrong way. I don't intend on getting along with you. You're a despicable man."

Izaya chuckled. "I suppose that's fair."

"However," Varona resumed. "I should thank you. Without your words, I might have died. Whether or not that is a good thing, I've yet to determine, but I believe I can grow from this."

"That's the spirit," Izaya crooned in an almost-sarcastic manner, though he was clearly pleased by this development.

Varona's only response was a scowl, prompting him to continue.

"Well, enjoy your rebirth, Varona."

With that, he was gone. Varona would never know that he might have apologized in that moment as well, if not for desperately clinging to what was left of his pride, for after all, without her taking action that fateful night, he would have been dead himself.

Though, she did try to kill him again, so had she known of his desire to thank her, she might have understood his hesitation.

Second chances, she realized, were a powerful thing.

**Author's Note:**

> Forgive me in advance for a really long AN, but, per usual, I have a lot to say.
> 
> So. Obviously, this isn't the Shinra fic that was promised. I'm in a state of self-doubt right now, and who knows, I might get over it tomorrow, or not for another two months. It's hard telling with me. Originally I was going to wait to post this for the date I had set but I might combust if I don't publish something today, so here we are, since I like this one shot at the moment and it's the only other thing I have written in full.
> 
> It might be stupid of me to make such a big deal out of doubt that came back almost out of nowhere, but my goal is to put out my best work. I've gotten a lot better at writing faster (five fics in five months would've been impossible for me literally any time before november) but the quality of my work hasn't really changed at all. I know, it's only been a few months, and I'm my own worst critic, but I want to take some time to focus on improving. For all I know I could be hit with inspiration and come back next week as planned; we'll just have to wait and see.
> 
> Anyway! I told you all I wasn't done exploring Varona's character, and I still have a lot more to delve into! I'd love to see more of her with Shizuo and Tom, and Izaya as well. I want to see her grow more, and I hope some of you feel the same way. She's my second favorite (Shizuo being first, surprising no one) so naturally I want to write a lot for her.
> 
> One thing I want to stress is that Varona doesn't hate herself for being a killer. I know it might come across that way, but the only reason she drove herself to her lowest was because she couldn't stand what she saw as weakness. She's always understood that she's a horrible person, and because of that she sees her desire to reform as being weak, among other things. When I wrote that she wanted to redeem herself in Shizuo's eyes, I was referring to how Shizuo now understood her true nature, and how he saw her as the one who didn't let him kill Izaya, and she wanted to change that. I feel like her arguments with Shizuo might come across as too overdramatic, and that's the point. As Drakon and Lingerin said, Varona might be highly intelligent and skilled, but mentally, she's still a child. She's lived her life in apathy and most likely didn't begin to experience this self-hatred until the aftermath of her fight with Akabayashi. That was the spark, among other events from the rest of the series, and one by one she continued to bottle them up. She's seething, and she has no idea how to deal with it because she's never had to before, which is why she practically explodes when Shizuo calls her out.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this fic, and this incredibly long ramble. Your support truly means the world to me. ♥ I'll hopefully see you soon. I have so much I want to share with you all, and I'll hopefully be able to in time.


End file.
